06.06.16 - that's the date I picked for the release of my first book, Black, White and the Grays in Between. When I created my website (self-developed and hosted for free with GitHub Pages), I set my fancy countdown timer to 06.06.16. I'm not quite sure what I was expecting would happen when the timer diligently completed its countdown. Would it burst into a joyous hurrah and replace my restrained reaction to the author copies? Would it transform itself into a gazillion Buy Now options, urging everyone and their mother to buy my book? Would it magically be replaced with confetti cannons that would burst with a brilliant eruption of colors and bring hues to my saga of the endless shade of gray?
I wish it would. The vanity of my dreams thinks it should.
As the developer of the website, I know it can, but it won't.
So, here I am, two days before the release of my book, trying to figure out, what really happens when the clock counts down to zero?
The more I think about it, the more I realize there is no clear answer to that question. In all reality, that is an incredibly hard question to answer. More so, for a first-time author. I've played out the scenarios, repeatedly, in my head. I've thought about the reviews and the judgement and the opinions and the appreciation and the praise. I've also realized that I have thought more about the response to my writing than about my writing. If the real reason for writing was in fact that a few of my favorite words needed expression and a voice, the outcome should hardly matter. If writing is in fact an emotional and visceral experience, its review and appreciation should hardly be of significance.
I woke up thinking about the difference between Goodreads and a good read. I woke up thinking about my Goodreads giveaway that is supposed to open on - surprise, surprise - 06.06.16. I woke up thinking about how many people would want a copy and how many would add it to their to-read shelves. I also woke up amused at myself that I hadn't thought about the ten strangers that may actually read my book and get to know me. I also woke up amused at myself that I hadn't thought about the real reason why I dedicated this book to my parents.
A lot can happen when the clock counts down to zero. A lot can happen when you remember why you set out to do something.
For now, I am going to swap Blogger with Visual Studio for the rest of the day. Back to writing code.
It doesn't matter who eats the food. Everyone has a different taste. But it's the Chef that gains satisfaction with the variety of outcome he can give the world to taste. You generate variety and more importantly you have the strength to express it clearly. You have the power to give something new to the world. Keep it up!
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